Professional Reading: Leadership and Self-Deception by The Arbinger Institute

During the lockdown I've engaged with the book Leadership and Self-Deception.

Key ideas in the text: Self-Deception (being in the box) and Self-betrayal

What is Self-Deception? 
Self-deception or "being in the box" as it's referred to in the book is not being able to see when you are the problem. This often comes from seeing others as objects rather than people with their own goals, aims, feelings, aspirations and so on. In our interactions with others we often to to mask our attitudes towards certain colleagues with a veneer of politeness or professionalism. However, as the video below makes clear, people often respond to how we feel about them on the inside  -  our feelings, no matter how hard we try, betray us in the end.

What is Self Betrayal?
Self betrayal is acting contrary to what we think we should do. It leads to the very behaviour that thrives when we are in the box. An example could be, not saying this is true but . . .

one of my children are calling out for help with a game downstairs.

My sense is: "I should go and help them" but
I betray it and and I don't go downstairs to help - I continue working.

I begin to justify it by inflating my own virtues, "I have loads of work to do, I'm a good husband, I do loads of other things to support."

I then inflate the faults of my partner, "I have far more work to do than her, does she not appreciate how busy I am?"

This leads to me being in the box - I see my world in a self- justifying way. My virtues inflated. . .

How does Self-Betrayal connect to Self-Deception? 

Below is from the text.

1. An act contrary to what I feel I should do for another is called an act of "self-betrayal." 
2. When I betray myself, I begin to see the world in a way that justifies my self-betrayal. 
3. When I see the world in a self-justifying way, my view of reality becomes distorted. 
4. So-when I betray myself, I enter the box.
5. Over time, certain boxes become characteristic of me, and I carry them with me. 
6. By being in the box, I provoke others to be in the box. 
7. In the box, we invite mutual mistreatment and obtain mutual justification. We collude in giving each other reason to stay in the box

How do we get out of the box? 

1. Seeing others as people with goals, aims, aspirations equal to that of our own. 
2. Know that I'm in the box - awareness. 

Useful pdf from the The Arbinger Institute: https://arbingerinstitute.com/Download/Leadership%20and%20Self-Deception%20-%20Diagrams%20-%2020181023.pdf

Understanding the Treaty of Waitangi.

Below are the handouts and notes from the professional learning about the Treaty of Waitangi:
This was an exceptional PL and helped build my understanding of the treaty. We can't understand it today unless we understand the history!

The Treaty is the wave:

Context for Te Tiriti o Waitangi (Below):


Whakapapa o Te Tiriti o Waitangi:




Declaration of Independence of New Zealand:



Main Points About the Treaty:



Recent Government Activity:


Treaty Principles:


Terms (Treaty of Waitangi)


Reccommendations that came out of this PL:

Watch this doc on Ruapekapeka.

NZ WARS - The Stories of Ruapekapeka from RNZ on Vimeo.

Visit Ruapekapeka.


Watch: Bastian Point Documentary:



Read: https://g.co/kgs/S3xUpU - Moriori by Michael King


Read: Ngaphi Speaks https://goo.gl/images/VdGD3F

The invasion of Parihaka - https://nzhistory.govt.nz/occupation-pacifist-settlement-at-parihaka

Watch: Te Whare - https://www.imdb.com/videoplayer/vi2360673561

1852, NZ Constitution Act - https://teara.govt.nz/en/self-government-and-independence/page-2

The Articles of the Treaty of Waitangi - https://teara.govt.nz/en/document/4216/the-three-articles-of-the-treaty-of-waitangi

Go to TRC.org.nz for more information.

Article: Rethinking Classroom Observation

Rethinking Classroom Observation 

My takeaways from this article: 

1. Observations are based on an observees questions about their OWN practice. 
2. Observation make use of the following data: Scripting, counting, tracking. 
3. best case scenarios involve more than one observer using a combination of the data gathering methods. 
4. Observations should be teacher driven. The observee is in control. 

Ted Talk: Increase your self-awareness with one simple fix.

The principal at my school shared this video with me. It's excellent and I agree with the speaker Tasha Eurich.

My take away from watching this video:
When self examining/reflecting, change the word 'why' with 'what.' This has one effective impact, it changes the nature of the reflection from being supremely internal to external.

With the internal downward spiral:

1. We wrestle with our invisible selves. 
2. We find answers the 'seem right' but may not be, 
3. We go into a mode of potential self destruction, 
4. We make it all about us. 

as Tasha in the video says: 

1. Thinking about ourselves isn't knowing ourselves,
2. No matter how hard we try, we can't excavate our unconscious selves.
3. It leads us away from our true nature,

With the external upward spiral: 

1. Find real tangible solutions, 
2. Our problem solving becomes pragmatic. 
3. It helps the reflector glean insights that are actionable. 

Growth Coaching: Pre-Observation, Observation and Post Observation Conversation.

Session time: 3:00 - 5:00 on Wednesday  1st August. 

Our challenge at the moment is integrating Growth Coaching with Teaching as Inquiry. In this post I will particularly be looking at how we can use teacher observations (in the context of Growth Coaching) as a tool to support teachers in moving forward with their inquiry. Something that is a particular challenge for me is perfecting the art of designing an observation that will best meet the needs of the teacher to help them move forward in their individual inquiry. There! I said it!

The following is my current understanding: 

Pre-Observation Conversation: 

Purpose: To get the focus of the observation, to determine the time of the observation and establish the role of the observer and teacher in the observation.

Observation: 

Gather data: By scripting, counting, tracking.

Post Observation Conversation:

This should lead into a growth coaching conversation at its conclusion. Remember to have a coach/coachee talking ratio at 20:80. This last one of these I did was 40:60. I'm getting better but I'm still not good enough. The coach must not 'feedback' but rather invite the coachee to reflect, examine the data and develop next steps. 

Please refer to image: 

Coaching Leadership Afternoon Session - Part 1

Inquiry: 

This image breaks down inquiry into 3 simple steps:

1. Driven by desire for improvement, 
2. Starts with a question you don't know the answer to, 
3. Should involve effort to answer, 

One key question that emerged for me after the PL: 

If you are working on collaborative inquiry, how do you ensure goals are tailored to each individual in the team? 

Coaching Leadership Professional Learning - Part 2.

Some of my thoughts on Feedback (one of the 8 key skills of coaching)

Giving feedback is one of the 8 key skills of coaching. For this reflection I am going to focus on the skill of giving feedback. Giving feedback is something that can cause me great difficulty. This is often because I worry about hurting the feelings of the person that I am giving the feedback to, especially if the feedback feels personal. I typically have used the 2 positives and one next step method or the sandwich rule but have often found this to lend itself to the ‘dump and run’ method of giving feedback - I have a tendency to use it as the end in itself. 

How not to give feedback!

The skill of giving feedback in the coaching model uses the fantastic metaphor of the ‘feedback bridge.’ Feedback is an obstacle that needs to be crossed in order to have a coaching conversation. It is a framework that allows the coachee to hear feedback. Often this is information they may have not heard before. The Johari Window illustrates the purpose of feedback excellently. The purpose is to make the unknown known. E.g. if you look at the model below, ideally feedback should make the 'known to self' window bigger as this enables the the coachee to be in a better position to have a coaching conversation.

In a nutshell: feedback is a means to an end not an end in itself. Never dump and run!